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Happy Fourth Birthday Boo!

Jun 16, 2009 Author: Jessy | Filed under: Family Management, Short Stories

Tonight is the eve of the birth of my four year old little girl.  I am reflecting on where I was right now four years ago.

We planned to get pregnant and were very grateful when after 5 months of trying we were able to conceive a baby. We chose that it was going to remain a surprise  and that we were not going to find out the sex of the baby. I remember the first time I felt my baby move I was 17 weeks pregnant and I was sitting downstairs watching a movie with my husband when I felt the rapid tap, tap, tap of something that felt like popcorn in my abdomen. It was the most magical thing I could ever experience.  The first time that I knew that I was growing a life inside of me and that it was no longer just a heartbeat on a monitor.

We had our first ultrasound at 20 weeks and it was awesome to see the baby flipping around in my stomach.  I have to admit I did feel a bit cheated during the ultrasounds because anytime there was the possibility to see the genitals they turned the monitor away so I did not get to watch the whole ultrasound like people who wanted to find out the gender.  But I ended up with some fantastic ultrasound pictures.

The weeks went by and I had a great pregnancy, I ate everything, relaxed, put my feet up whenever I could and truly enjoyed the experience and gained weight happily.  At 36 weeks I went in for my first pelvic exam and when I stepped on the scale they noticed a very large change from the previous 2 weeks weight, I had gained over 10 lbs! I knew my ankles and feet were swollen, but I did not realize how swollen I was.  Then they took my blood pressure and it had skyrocketed from my normal healthy blood pressure up to that point. I was diagnosed with pregnancy related high blood pressure and edema. I was then put on bed rest.

It was very challenging to relax, lay down on my left side and ask for help for everything.   On day two of my bed rest I was not careful and was not  and ended up having to go to the hospital because I was seeing stars due to the high blood pressure and I had to spend the night in the hospital.  I promised I would be careful and was able to go home for the remainder of my pregnancy. Thank goodness for the Sex in the City DVD box set my husband bought me to pass the time!

I had ultrasounds every other day for the last 2 weeks  which was really cool and I was totally effaced and dilated to 2.  On June 15th , I was finally given the all clear to go in for an induction on June 16th.  We woke up at 6 AM, got permission to check in to the hospital, took some pictures and video of our last minutes at home as a couple before we became parents.  We drove scared and excited to the hospital, parked, walked in to the delivery area, checked into the room where I was going to deliver my baby, was hooked up to monitors, IV’s and induced with pitocin.

Within an hour the strong contractions started and within 2 hours my water was broke, then the pain really started.  I had to try to stay calm with my high blood pressure and was not able to move around to speed delivery and was stuck on my left side to keep my blood pressure down. I asked for an epidural at about 1 PM, three hours after induction.  It worked for a while but it started to fade quickly.  They kept checking me and I was always at 5, I never made it past 6 cm.  They soon realized that my baby was face up and not descending down the birth canal to help me dilate, and I could not change positions to help it move.  I was told at 10 PM that they thought I should have a c-section.

I was at this point so swollen from the swelling and IV fluids that my hospital bracelet that was loose upon check in was skin tight on my wrist, my fingers, toes and feet were so swollen my skin hurt and my blood pressure was 150/110 but thankfully my baby was never in distress. I was now on the wait list to get into the Operating room behind multiple emergency c-sections.  Unfortunately my epidural was completely not working at this point and the anesthesiologist was stuck in the operating room and could not help with my pain.

Finally at 1 AM after signing my life away on forms, I was wheeled into the operating room for my turn at a c-section.  They bumped up my epidural to the point where I could not move my legs and strapped me down on the table, as I lay there getting prepped, I listened to Jack Johnson on the speakers of that bright white room. This is when the shaking started, I was shaking uncontrollably almost jumping up and down on the table and my blood pressure was still super high. They started cutting me open and I could feel the heat from the incision, I said I can feel that!  They said OK, and gave me a shot of something to help, Jon was now ushered into the room and he saw me so pale and shaking on this table and he is not a surgery guy, he was sooo scared. I was scared myself, and I was trying to reassure him that I was going to be OK.  I remember the jerking and pulling and then they pulled out my baby.  They announced it is a girl!  I said oh what color is her hair?  (I had to ask since Jon was a redhead at birth.)  The nurse told me that she had a full head of black hair.  The whole operating room sang Happy Birthday to my baby as they were drying her off and checking her out.  She was healthy and beautiful!  7 lbs and 3 oz. 191/2 inches long. I was able to look at my baby but not hold her. Jon was torn what to do, I told him not to leave the baby.

When he left the room I knew something was wrong because I looked at the anesthesiologist and asked him not to let me die. He reassured me that I was not going to die. I ended up loosing a lot of blood due to my blood pressure, I spent 2 hours in recovery before they finally let me see my baby.  I was then so doped up, tired, weak and trying to nurse my baby.   It took me almost 2 weeks before I started to not feel weak and tired all the time.  I was able to recover quickly from my c-section and enjoy my baby girl.  My delivery experience was definitely not what I expected but my daughter was a wonderful reward for the traumatic experience.

Our lives have changed so dramatically from the carefree, young couple we were before she was born. We are parents and she is our daughter and our lives revolve around her.  Four years have passed and she has went from being a loud baby, to being a happy, outspoken, funny, intelligent, confident little girl. Happy Birthday Boo!  I am so proud and happy that you are in my life!

Water Safety for a Water Loving Family

Jun 12, 2009 Author: Jessy | Filed under: Family Management, Health & Safety

With summer here and the stories starting to pop up in the news children drowning in pools and lakes I had a water  safety discussion with my almost 4 year old daughter today.   We are a water loving family!  We have an above ground pool with a deck wrapped around, a hot tub, a family lake cabin, a boat, and plenty of yard water toys so for us it is very important to be safe around water.

I sat my daughter down and told her that can never go in the pool, the hot tub, or the lake without mom or dad swimming with her.  Not only do we make sure our daughter understands the dangers of swimming alone,  we also try to have safety measures.  We have an alarm on our back door that we set at night, that if the door is opened it will make a screeching sound and quickly wake me up. We have a climb proof deck railing and a lock on the gate that surrounds the pool deck.  We have a fenced in yard with locking gates surrounding our yard.  Our hot tub cover weighs about a hundred pounds and it locks. We never leave our kiddie pools filled up when they are not being used and our children are supervised while playing. We try to practice as much prevention as possible but there are always ways that kids could figure out a way to get in if they want to, that is hopefully where the discussion of the dangers of being in a pool alone can kick in.

We have our daughter in Foss Swimming lessons so she is learning how to swim she can currently swim 20 feet underwater on her front and back so she is learning well but that does not give me a false sense of security. I just want to make sure that she has as many tools as she can to be comfortable in water if something ever does happen.

We have  a lake cabin where there is 500 feet between the cabin and the lake, she has been taught since she was little that she is not allowed to go to the lake by herself under any circumstances.  We also have a boat and there is a family pontoon at the cabin have the children wear properly fitting US coastguard approved life jackets on the boats and they are never in the water without a parent right next to them.

Children need to be constantly watched in and around water, a child can drown in minutes when they are not being constantly supervised.  I will always try to  teach and practice water safety with my children and I hope that we can help others remember the danger water poses to children.  Please have a safe summer and have fun in the water!

I was sitting at the Minnesota Zoo feeding my kids a snack in a crowded area, glancing around the crowd when I noticed a 4 year old girl fall into the water touch pool.  It is a pool about 3 feet deep that has low sides so children and adults can lean over the edge and touch the starfish, and sea anemones, clams and other safe, slow sea animals. She was with a daycare center group of about 50 kids for a field trip but the adults were not close enough to prevent her from falling in.  The little girl could clearly not swim as she did not try to right herself to stand up or get out of the pool. An adult chaperon jumped in to the water and rescued her very quickly and as a result from jumping into the pool the adult was wet up to her waist and the little girl was soaked.   Thankfully, both the little girl, the adult and the animals appeared to be alright.  After surveying her for damage they wrapped a towel around the girl and calmed her down. The group leaders then quickly moved the remaining children from this group to the dolphin tank area to go sit down away from the tide pool. Now that the other children in the group were completely controlled,  two of the teachers tended to the wet little girl. In the middle of this busy open public space the adult teachers stripped off all of the four year old’s clothing, took their time drying her off, and slowly put new clothes on her.  There was a bathroom less than 50 feet away, the remaining children were under control, so one adult could have easily left with the wet girl to go in the bathroom, to change her clothes, and maybe even use a hand dryer to help dry her hair.  But the daycare center teachers chose to expose this little girl, who was clearly uncomfortable with being naked, to hundreds of random strangers watching and walking by.

She was too old to be completely naked in public and she was clearly uncomfortable, she was trying to use her hands to cover her crotch.   If it was her mother instead of a daycare teacher I might have thought it was more acceptable. As a parent, when we leave our child with a daycare provider, we entrust them to protect and care for our children, this daycare teacher was clearly not protecting this child.  There is no way I would have gotten my 4 year old naked in that busy public area, and I would have freaked out if her daycare providers, whom I entrusted with her care, would have considered getting my child naked and exposing her to the public.  This situation made me think if I was upset that this four year old was naked, how old is too old to be naked in public?

Restrooms regularly have changing stations in the common area of the bathroom, thus making parents expose their children who are still in diapers to strangers walking by.  I remember one time I was changing my sons diaper and a woman stopped to talk to me and my son and wanted to watch as I changed his diaper.  I quickly covered his genitals with a clean diaper as I was wiping his butt because I did not want a stranger looking at his genitals.   Is it inappropriate to see children naked when they are in diapers? To me that is questionable.

I remember having the photo studio ask me if I wanted naked pictures of my 5 month old son and telling me that they are not allowed to take the naked shots after children are they are 12 months old.  I said, I am just fine with diapered pictures instead of naked.  Public photography standard says after 12 months it is too old to take naked pictures of your children. I say is 12 months too old to be naked in public?   To me this is still questionable.

I have a few friends who think it is cute to have their 2 year old’s running around naked in the house, because toddlers think it feels good to be naked.  I think this is OK in the house, but then I have one friend who liked to take pictures of her 2 year old son playing, while happy and naked.  That I start to have a problem with.  As a friend, I did not feel that I should be seeing her two year old child’s genitals, when she was sharing her pictures with me.  So if you don’t feel that you should be sharing these pictures, should you keep or take these pictures?  So is 2 years old too old to be naked in pictures?  Yes, I think so!

I heard a story about a woman who allowed her daughters to sleep completely naked on warm nights because she liked to sleep naked, so she thought her daughters would too.  She also thought that sleeping children were cute, so she chose to take multiple pictures, over the years of her completely naked, sleeping daughters.  So what you might say?  Her naked daughters were now 8 and 10 years old.  She ended up having child protection services called on her by the photo developers.  Fortunately, child protection convinced her that she should not continue these type of photos.   What 10 year old would want their naked picture taken?  Is 10 years old too old to be naked in public?  Yes, I know so!

Why do we have to worry about nudity?  Sexual predators and pedophiles may see this seemingly harmless nudity, and use it in disgusting ways, in turn victimizing our children. I have thought before that pedophiles or a child abductor would choose a location where they know there are children, the zoo would seem to be a perfect area, children everywhere, often running loose so they can explore and learn in a seemingly safe place. So these locations that we feel safe allowing our children to be naked, may be the most dangerous areas for our children to be exposed.

So is 10 years old too old to be naked in public?  Yes, definitely! Is 6  years old too old to be naked in public?  Yes, absolutely!  Is 4 years old too old to be naked in public?  Yes, absolutely!  Is 2 years old too old, in my opinion, yes, absolutely!  I will protect my children and do whatever I can to keep their private parts, private.

I am trying to create a cleaner home environment for my family.  I have eliminated all chemical cleaning products and now use vinegar, lemon juice water solution for my kitchen, baking soda to scrub and hydrogen peroxide for stains. I realized that even though I was providing my children with a clean kitchen and less chemicals in the air for them to breathe, I was still dressing them in clothes washed in harmful chemicals. I had these chemicals touching their soft skin 24 hours a day!

Laundry detergents contain phthalates, chemicals that have been linked to cancer and reproductive system harm in lab tests.    I have been trying to avoid exposing extra hormones to my children but I was placing phthalates next to their skin daily.   I was also using fabric softener which deposits even more phthalates on your clothes. I needed to find a safe alternative that would clean my clothes and not cost me an expensive, organic price.

When I was trying to find a recipe for homemade laundry soap, I referred to my list of safe cleaning products to make sure it was made with approved ingredients.  When researching healthy home care products I found the EPA has certain cleaning products that they approve as safe for the environment.  Not only do I want to have safe chemicals in my house, I try to help protect the environment and doing something positive for the future of my children.  I found a homemade laundry soap recipe, It is made with EPA approved green ingredients that are easy to find, and costs less than $2 for 200 loads of laundry.

It is made with Borax, Washing Soda, Water, and Fels-Naptha Laundry Soap, I was able to pick up all of these ingredients at my local grocery store.  After making one batch of this recipe there is so much Borax and washing soda  in these boxes I will have enough to make at least 15 times more of the same recipe.  I used Fels-Naptha bar soap for my homemade laundry soap, this is also a fantastic spot stain fighter, it will remove blood and grass stains, and costs a fraction of a stain fighting spray like Shout.  Buy an extra bar as a laundry pre-treater for bad stains.     If you don’t like the smell of Fels-Naptha soap or want something even more sensitive, you could choose an unscented bar of soap or something sensitive like Ivory soap.

I have used this laundry soap for five weeks now and I am very pleased with the results.  The stains are removed with no discoloration to my colored clothes and whites are white, and my clothes come out clean and fresh.   My husband, who is extremely picky and slow to accept my green and hormone free changes, he only liked to use Gain laundry soap up to this point.  I asked him what he thought of the laundry detergent and he said, “It works good!”   I am comfortable recommending this recipe to my friends. It would save them a lot of money on laundry soap, they would be using an environmentally safe product, and to keep phtalates off of  their clothes.

Homemade Liquid Laundry Soap Recipe

4 Cups hot tap water
1 Fels-Naptha soap bar
1 Cup Washing Soda
½ Cup Borax

  • Use an old pan, and an old spoon that you will not need for cooking again, so your food does not taste like soap
  • Grate or finely cut up one bar of soap
  • Place ground soap in the pan with the 4 cups of water, on the stove top over low heat.
  • Stir constantly until soap dissolves and blends with the water
  • Use a clean 5 gallon bucket with a lid
  • Fill bucket half full with hot water
  • Add the melted soap and water mixture to this bucket
  • Add the washing soda and borax
  • Stir all ingredients until they combine
  • Fill the bucket to the top with water
  • You can add 10 drops of an essential oil like lavender (optional)
  • Cover the bucket and let it cool and set up overnight
  • In the morning it will turn into a big bucket of thick gel
  • Stir it up and It will turn into a liquidy lumpy jello consistency
  • Use your mixing spoon to stir it up before you scoop up your laundry soap for each load
  • I use 1/3 cup of laundry detergent per load

Now that you are eliminating the chemicals in your detergent stop using fabric softener! To eliminate static, use dryer balls such as Dryer Magic Dryer Fluff balls to fluff and soften clothes, or 1/4 cup of white vinegar in your rinse cycle. The vinegar will deodorize your clothes, naturally soften them, and keep your laundry machine clean and free from hard water buildup as well.

A list of harmful chemicals people use in their households and safe alternatives recomended by the EPA.

An article from NaturalNews.com on harmful chemicals and ways to avoid them in your life.

Ear Tubes? I Say Yes!

May 20, 2009 Author: Jessy | Filed under: Family Management, Health & Safety

My daughter had so many ear infections by the time she was 15 months, that I stopped counting at twelve.  I spent so many nights sleeping sitting up in a recliner with my daughter sleeping in my arms, because she could not lay down with the ear infection pressure and pain. She had her first ear infection at two months and continued having them until they were not healing in between antibiotics treatments, and she was quickly becoming immune to all antibiotics. I am someone who only takes antibiotics when it is absolutely necessary, and my daughter was on them so much she was becoming immune. I had to do something!

We got an appointment to see our pediatricians favorite ENT Doctor and had her hearing tested and a consultation.  The ENT recommended we get her tubes because she thought she was a perfect for the procedure and that her life could be improved.   We asked tons of questions, did the research, and weighed the pro’s and cons of the the surgery for tubes.  We were worried about my daughter having complications and having to be put under during the process of the surgery.

I did not only consider tubes and antibiotics, I also was looking into alternative therapies.  I researched elevated sleeping, chiropractic care, eliminating dairy, natural ear drops and massage but there were questions, difficulties and risks for each of them.  I was weighing my ear treatment options and was working at the high school career center at the time.  I  spoke to a 17 yr old who’s was sharing the story of why he wore two hearing aids.  He said his mother wanted to be natural and avoid surgery for tubes when he had chronic ear infections as a toddler.  He ended up needing hearing aides in both ears for the rest of his life, because of the significant scar tissue that formed, he only had 10 % hearing remaining in each of his ears.  His experience and lifetime disability helped me make up my mind quickly.

She was 16 months old when we arrived at Children’s Hospital day surgery center.  We had to arrive two hours in advance for her 10 AM appointment and she could not eat or drink anything before midnight the night before.   I chose to not eat or drink anything either, so I would know she felt and not be eating or drinking in front of her.  All she wanted was some milk and she was hungry and thirsty while we sat in the waiting room.  When we arrived we checked in, they put her in a little yellow gown and booties, and took a Polaroid picture of her with us.  I look at my face in that picture today, and I as so nervous.  We did everything we could to distract her from her hunger as she in the waiting room with the other little kids wearing the cute little yellow gowns, until it was her surgery time.  Jon and I carried her into a private room connected to the bright lights of the surgery area.  I held her on my lap and held her arms down while they blew bubbles and hooked her up to monitors, and put her to sleep with a sedation gas mask.  The creepiest part was feeling her body go completely limp.  I laid her on the wheeled hospital bed and they wheeled her away to surgery.  We went back out into the waiting room and watched the monitor nervously to see when her surgery status was changed to recovery.

The procedure took less than 15 minutes, and we were called back to the recovery area, told that when she woke up she might be really confused and scared.  She woke up and was a little wobbly, but she was fine, all she wanted was apple juice and graham crackers.  They observed her for a while and we were released before noon. We drove her home gave her Tylenol and were told to give her antibiotic drops in her ear for a week.  The rest of the day of the surgery she was normal, playing and she did not seem to have any ill effects from the tubes or the anesthesia.

Since that day she had only one ear infection, and with the antibiotic drops that we already had, it was healed within 24 hours.  No more pain, no agony, and she was able to sleep in her own bed that night. I had an ear infection about a year after her surgery as an adult and it hurt unbelievably bad, and I felt guilty for letting my child go 16 months with ear infections when tubes were such a fast fix to her pain.

Tubes changed our lives for the better, she could sleep at night, and she was not in pain anymore.  I don’t know if getting the tubes put in helped her to hear and speak because she was right there developmentally but she did start speaking clearly very soon after the surgery. I believe tubes are a wonderful way to improve a child’s quality of life.  If my son had ear infections like she did I would not hesitate at all to get tubes put in. If your child has chronic ear infections I would highly recommend speaking to an ENT and getting tubes to ease your child’s pain and avoid possible hearing damage.




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