A woman gave birth in a New Jersey Hospital in April of 2006, she refused a doctor suggested c-section and while in labor was given multiple psychiatric evaluations. She gave birth to a healthy baby by vaginal delivery with no complications.  Even though she gave birth to a healthy baby she was told her baby would not be able to come home with her and was turned over to Social Services, she was non compliant with social services and the court system and custody of her child was given to the foster family. She was ruled as abusive and neglectful for refusing the c-section even before her child was born.  The reason this is in the news is because the custody ruling was upheld last week in court.

This ruling blows my mind!  There are so many things that run through my head!

This ruling gives the unborn baby more rights than the mom, this must be a huge blow for abortion advocates around the country.  They ruled that she was abusing and neglecting her child by refusing to allow medical intervention and she lost even though she delivered without incident and the baby was healthy with no ill effects from delivering.

A woman who works with my sister in law here in Minnesota, refused a c-section when her baby was in distress because she did not want a scar.  She made the wrong decision, and her baby died during her vaginal delivery.  This happened about 4 months ago and she did not have any charges pressed against her for her decision to risk the health of her baby.  This was considered her choice.  In my opinion it was a horribly selfish choice and she will have to live the rest of her life knowing that her selfish choice to avoid a scar killed her full term baby.

This ruling gives the doctor who makes the call to make the call for the c-section more rights than the woman who refuses the surgery. Now doctors can say that you may be held legally responsible and loose your child if you neglect to listen to my decision to have a c-section as I am recommending right now.

When you have a c-section the doctor, anesthesiologist and nurses have to explain the risks and you have to sign multiple forms approving the doctors decision to have a c section.  It is your choice and you have to approve this choice.

This ruling is going to take away so many women’s rights and give so many more rights to doctors and social workers that it scares me.

Online References:

Yahoo.com Article, Examiner.com Article

I was a vegetarian for 10 years and I never had the desire to eat meat until I smelt my mother in laws homemade chicken noodle soup simmering on the stove. I am now a huge fan of chicken noodle soup, it is the meal I make and bring to my friends who have babies, it is the meal I make for gatherings at my house in the winter. It is the perfect comfort food. I tried about 10 different recipes and took what I liked from each to make this recipe. This is what I consider the Perfect Chicken Noodle Soup.

2- lbs boneless, skinless, chicken thighs or a 4 lb whole chicken

2 – Lg containers (32 oz) Chicken broth

1- Head of Celery and leaves diced and divided in half

1- Large yellow onion diced and divided in half

1- pound of carrots sliced – divided in half

6- Chicken Bouillon cubes

1- tsp dry parsley flakes

1- tsp garlic (I use the roasted type garlic in the jar)

1- tblsp poltry seasoning

1- tsp thyme

2- tblsp kosher cooking salt- (or salt)

1- tblsp pepper-fresh ground

Juice from 1/4 of a lemon

Home made noodles (recipe below)  or if you must, 9 oz store bought bagged, nested wide Egg Noodles

Boil the chicken thighs or whole chicken in a large stockpot in the 2 containers of broth add 1/2 of the carrots, 1/2 of the onion, 1/2 of the celery and leaves and the tsp of garlic.  Boil for 1 hour or until the meat is easily shredded. I pull the thighs out and shred them on a plate and dump them back in.  Add bouillon cubes, 4 cups of water, and the rest of the ingredients and seasonings to the stockpot bring to a low rolling boil and add homemade noodles, boil 30 more minutes or until noodles are tender and serve!   Even my kids love this recipe and will eat all of the veggies and chicken.

Homemade Egg Noodles-

1 cup flour

1 egg

1 eggshell full of milk

1/2 teaspoon salt

On a clean, flat surface, place 1 cup of flour, create a hole in the center of the flour pile, add the salt, and crack the egg inside the hole. Then fill up one half of the egg shell with milk two times and place the milk in the hole of the flour as well.  Gently fold the ingredients together by hand until it is a soft doughlike mixture. If you need more liquid, slowly add 1/2 eggshell of milk at a time until it is a sticky ball. Sprinkle a little flour on the flat surface and Roll out the dough with a rolling pin until it is as flat as you can make it, it needs to be thinner than a pie crust. Once it is as thin as you can make it, (once you boil it, it will plump up) cut skinny strips of noodle about 1/3 inch wide with a pizza cutter. 
 

Add homemade noodles one or a few at a time to the chicken soup at a low rolling boil so they don’t stick together.  Boil in the soup until they are tender, or about 30 minutes.

I was reflecting on when my daughter was a newborn and how I did not feel specifically attached to her but did not want to admit it to anyone.    I thought it was due to my lack of sleep or the fact that she cried so much.  I nursed my baby and I never had that feeling of utter happiness that you are supposed to have once you have nursing mastered and look down at your happy baby.   I remember I wanted to try formula right away,  because I felt like I needed to be myself again and I thought that it might make her cry less.  It was summer and I felt stuck in the house, it was nice outside and I couldn’t even figure out how to get to the grocery store,  let alone how to pack up a baby and go anywhere while nursing.
I remember very clearly that  I would sit and rock her while nursing her and I would think to myself that she was my sisters baby.  I would think things to myself like when your mom comes over tomorrow, referring to my sister, or I would say, I need to call your mom, before I picked up the phone to call my sister.   I don’t know if this was because she had a baby 6 months before me, so I was used to seeing her as the mom, or if I really did not think that this baby that I was so excited to have, felt like mine.

It could also have been the fact that I had a c-section and I was stuck at home for 6 weeks without driving myself anywhere, during the most beautiful, summertime weather.  I could not swim, I could not go for walks, I could not exercise.  I could not figure out who I was.  I did not have that new mom glow that I thought I would have.  I wanted to have a natural birth, I wanted to be able to push my baby around in my new stroller and feel good, I wanted to be able to enjoy my summer and be able to bring my baby with me everywhere like I envisioned.   When I was with her I could not figure out how to take a shower or type an e-mail without having her in the other arm.  It was a total shock to my system and did not help with my bonding.

I don’t think I was as good of a new mom as I could have been if I would have felt more comfortable around her.  She cried alot and I did not feel like I could comfort her effectively. The fog that I felt, lasted about 8 weeks.  Eight weeks was when I rushed back to work to help myself feel more like me.  I remember being asked by my gynecologist at the 6 week appointment if I have been sad and I answered that I did not feel sad.  She did not ask if I felt like I was bonding with my baby or if I felt happy being a mom which I think would have been more applicable questions in my situation.  I wonder would I have answered honestly?  I don’t know, I really liked my OB but I did not want anyone to think I was a bad mom or did not love my baby because what kind of person does not love their beautiful baby girl?

If  there are new moms who feel this type of fog or lack of attachment, or feel like they need to regain their life back right away,  there might have attachment issues.  It might be a case of the baby blues or postpartum depression.   Please speak honestly with your OB/GYN to see if they think this is something that you might need help getting through.

Today I adore my daughter and I can say that I know I did not know what I was really signing up for when I wanted to get pregnant.  I was happy to have my son and never felt that fog that I had with my daughter was a newborn, I also felt the sense of love that I think you should feel right away for my son and I knew he was mine.   It took me about 12 weeks before I felt that sense of love with my daughter.  I am grateful that I was able to get over it but it sure might have made both of our lives easier if I would have figured it out earlier.

My kids love foaming hand soap, it is so easy to use, it washes off completely but I have some issues with the store bought brands.  All foaming hand soaps that I have found in the stores are antibacterial soap and we are not supposed to be using antibacterial hand soap on kids.  Antibacterial hand soaps if not rinsed off can cause skin burns and irritation and they also should not be used daily because we are creating super bugs that can be antibiotic resistant.

I had four foaming  hand soap dispensers sitting around empty, and I filled one 1/8th the way with Seventh Generation dish soap then the rest of the way with regular tap water, shook it gently to mix it, and it created a perfect foaming soap.  I chose Seventh Generation because it is easy to find, less than $4 it is unscented for my fragrance free house, it is hypoallergenic,  non-toxic and it is not petroleum based.   This foaming handsoap washes off completely, and it is not antibacterial so I have no worries when my kids wash their hands without me watching them like a hawk, to ensure they rinse off the soap completely.   If you want to try to make your own foaming hand soap, save yourself money, and reuse your foaming hand soap containers and switch to seventh generation dish soap for your family and the environment.

I was able to be present at the most perfect delivery of my baby neice today.  My sister in law waited until she was 5 cm dialated before going to the hospital at 9:30 AM, they gave her an epidural at 6 cm and it was perfect, no pain at all, it was so good she needed pitocin to augment the labor but still no pain.  We laughed, told stories, and had a fantastically stress free experience.  The baby was delivered at 2:50 PM and there was still no pain, no ripping, and she delivered her face up. Both mom and baby were completely healthy, the baby was 3 weeks early and only 5 lb 4 oz. When the nurse asked my sister in law what the level of her pain was she replied she had no pain at all.

The parts that I find interesting about births are that everyone wants to be there to share in the excitement and see your baby right when it was born. The problem with that is that babies come out long before afterbirth.  When your parents want to walk into the room you have a baby in your arms but your crotch exposed to the world as they wait for the afterbirth to be delivered.  I remember with my sisters birth, everyone wanted to rush into the room when the baby came and that was the point when she was completely exposed in stirups as the Dr. sewed her up and delivered her afterbirth and cleaned her up.   So the parts of you that you wanted to keep private from your friends and family have now been shown in full bloody view.

Now even after your sewn up and cleaned up now you have the flocks of people waiting to see the baby and if you want to nurse the first thing the baby wants to do is nurse.  So you have to try to do something completely new and uncomfortable to you and people are pressuring you to let them come into the room.  Now the time when you need to be completely relaxed and bond with your baby you are not comfortable exposing your friends and family to your breasts, and the way the Nurses always disrobe you completely to have the baby up against your skin you are totally out in the open with no way to cover yourself up.

Maybe other people do not have an issue with this and think that this is a normal part of life to expose the parts of you that have never been exposed except in the most intimate of circumstances to your whole family and friends.  I think hospitals need to come up with a plan to make it so that new mothers have some privacy bonding time with their new children before visitors are allowed to enter, maybe 2 hours after giving birth. I know I requested it from my family after the birth of my daughter and I do not feel guilty about that decision at all, by the time my son was born I knew how to ask my friends and family to step outside without guilt but that was not something that came easy for my first.   Good luck with your birth experience. I hope you have a perfect delivery like my sister in law but maybe come up with a plan for after you give birth so you can bond with your baby and not completely expose yourself to your friends and family.