Most toddlers go through a very independent stage where they don’t want to hold your hand, but can not understand the dangers of why they can not run off. My son has entered this age. He used to be such a nice, calm boy who would happily hang out with me, but now he is too busy and wants to see everything at his pace, and does not want to be carried or hold onto my hand.

We were at the zoo last week and I did not have a stroller because I did not want to drag around an empty stroller so my kids can get some exercise. My son did not want to hold my hand, in fact when I tried to hold his hand he would lean away from me and hang there like dead weight, while I am holding his entire body weight by his wrist so he does not fall to the ground. To avoid walking around the whole day with a child being held up by his arm, I let him walk free. He all of a sudden decided he wanted to go see what was around the corner at his top speed. It is amazing how fast those little legs can move when he wants to! I first tried to slow him down by loudly calling for him to stop, but that did not work. Then I was the mom running after my toddler in public, while trying to make sure my older child follows the pursuit and quickly having to convince her to stop looking at the three banded armadillo and come along. Thankfully he knew that this is not a chase game, he stopped running so I was able to catch him. I got down nose to nose and told him that he has to stay by mom and he cant run away because it is dangerous.

Do I think that will be the last time he runs away? Not a chance, I think that I will chase my son occasionally for at least six more months until he is mature enough to understand that he has to stay by mom. It will be the same lesson I had to teach my daughter at the same age. She has learned that she can walk at a safe distance ahead of me but has learned that she has to stay close and be able to maintain eye contact and hear my voice at all times. Unfortunately, my son has not grasped this important safety point yet. We are going to be in an airport in a couple of weeks and I don’t want to lug around a stroller, but I am going through the internal battle if I want to be the parent with my toddler on a leash or not.

To clarify, is not really a leash, it is a monkey stuffed animal. harness, backpack with a four foot tether for an adult to hold onto, in order to keep your child close in public. It slides over his arms and has two buckles to keep it on him, along with adjustable straps and are soft. When you hold onto the tether and they take off, it slows down the child from the chest and the whole torso, not the neck or arm or any other dangerous place, and the stuffed animal monkey makes it look much more friendly to others.

Why do I consider not using it? When people who I assume did not have children saw my daughter wearing a harness they laughed or make snide remarks about me treating her like an animal. I know it is not only me who has gotten rude remarks, in public I have hard other people loudly criticize other parents walking around in public with their children wearing a harness as well. I clearly remember one man walking up to a mom asking her if her child has to eat on the floor like a dog too, I was horrified for her.

I decided that for the safety of my son and for the convenience of not having to abandon my daughter in public to chase after my toddler, I will harness my son. He may not like being contained by the tether any more than he likes holding onto my hand, but I will not be afraid of pulling his arm out of the socket when he decides to jerk away from me. I decided that I am much more vocal with my second child, and sure in my decisions than I was with my first. This time when someone makes a rude remark about my son being on a leash, I will just smile and reply, “You must not have kids, or you would understand!”

Do you have a closet full of clothes but don’t know what you should keep and what you should get rid of?

At the beginning of each clothing season, turn all of your hangers backwards. When you replace the clothes after wearing them once turn them forwards. What you have not worn at the end of a season or at the end of the year you should donate or sell at a consignment sale and help un-clutter your life. If you can live without it for an entire year you don’t need it, and it will free up room to buy something new and fun!

Do you have kids that loose one glove or mitten all winter long?

I buy some thick elastic and cut it so that is about 3 inches shorter than the length of the sleeves of their winter coat. I sew a couple of stitches to connect the elastic to the gloves. Pull the gloves or mittens through the jacket making sure the right glove is on the right side, and you will have a pair of mittens all winter long. My kids have not lost a mitten since I started this 2 years ago.

Today my husband handed me an envelope from the U.S. Census Bureau with a big United States Census 2010 logo on the front. I said outloud, “Oooh the Census form!” I opened it up with a pen in hand, ready to fill it out, but instead of the census form, it was the following letter:

Dear Resident:
One week from now, you will receive a 2010 Census form in the mail.
When you receive your form, please fill it out and mail it in promptly.

Your response is important. Results from the 2010 Census will be used to help each community get their fair share of government funds for highways, schools, health facilities, and many other programs you and your neighbors need. Without a complete, accurate census, your community may not receive its fair share.

Thank you in advance for your help.

Sincerely,

Robert M. Groves
Director, U.S. Census Bureau

So why do I care? They sent out a letter, to let us know we would get a letter in one week. Why could they not have included this letter along with the census form and saved the millions of dollars in postage to mail this one page letter to each residence in the United States?

A letter to announce a letter. Thanks U.S. Census Bureau for showing us another great example of our tax dollars at work!

Every new mom receives tons of advice with the birth of your baby, be careful who you listen to. The parenting methods that may have been in style 35 years ago are not appropriate anymore. 35 years ago some pregnant moms smoke, drank, and ate whatever they wanted. Would any responsible pregnant woman risk damage to her fetus by smoking and drinking? No, because research has proven that it is not healthy! You should not use archaic methods of parenting either.

Research continually changes the recommendations and the best practices for the healthiest and best ways to care for your babies. Listening to someone who had a baby five years ago can already be outdated, imagine if you are taking advice from someone who has not had a baby in 30 years how outdated that advice is! There are some things that I had people recommend to me that are not only outdated but outright dangerous and maybe even be considered child endangerment or neglect by today’s standards.

There are things that people say in passing like put a little whiskey on their gums when they are teething or give them a little Benadryl to sleep on a plane. These things could be are horribly dangerous for a baby. I can’t imagine how many sleep deprived, uneducated parents just give it a try. Always ask your pediatrician before giving your newborn any medications, over the counter remedies and NEVER give your child alcohol!

Baby sleep position has changed completely from 30 years ago when parents were told to put babies to sleep on their stomachs, 15 years ago it was put your baby to sleep on their side and use a sleep positioner, now we are supposed to put our babies to sleep in a completely empty crib, with no bumpers, no pillows, no positioners while they are wearing a sleep sack. Research has proven sleeping on their back is now the safest method to prevent SIDS.

Car seat safety has dramatically changed, even 5 years ago it was OK to switch your car seat front facing at 1 year and 20 pounds, now it is recommended to keep your seat rear facing until 40 pounds or as long as your car seat will allow it. When I see people using outdated car seats or standard infant seats for a 2 year old with their legs dangling over the edge it makes me want to scream! Don’t use a lap bar or shield booster, they are all recalled or expired and could decapitate your child in an accident. Don’t accept a car seat as a hand me down! Don’t use a car seat that has been in a car accident or was manufactured more than 5 years ago. Car seats are made so much better today than they were 5 years ago, they are easier to use, they are safer. Your child is worth it.

It really gets me is when I hear people say, you don’t want to spoil your baby! Don’t hold it too much! Lay down your baby! It has been proven that you can not spoil a newborn, that instead it promotes a healthy self esteem for children to be held. In countries where babies are never put down but are carried constantly, those babies never cry and acid reflux does not exist.

Why are there are so many products that are aimed at newborns and under 20 pounds like bassinets, co-sleepers, cradles? It is because developmentally newborns don’t sleep for 8 hours at a time. These products help encourage nursing success because nursing babies digest breast milk faster than formula, and need to be fed every 2-3 hours when they are newborns. Even if you are not breastfeeding, your baby needs you more than you need your sleep at least until they are about 4 months old. Babies poop constantly even at night. You can’t leave a newborn baby laying in their waste all night long. Could you sleep while your feces burns a horrible diaper rash on your sensitive skin? You should not be trying to let a newborn Cry It Out. Leaving your baby to scream and cry for 1 hour until they fall asleep in exhaustion could be considered child neglect, so be careful. Do some research or ask your pediatrician before believing someone who tells you that it is OK to ignore a newborn and let them Cry it Out.

After nine months of pregnancy if it leaves you wanting to escape as soon as the baby is born is not healthy. Mothers who do not want to be around their babies may have postpartum depression. You are not supposed to be able to leave your newborn, it is maternal instinct and that instinct was developed through thousands of years to protect children from being abandoned by their parents to die. Don’t believe someone who tells you to go out and have fun and leave your kid right after your baby is born. You need that time to bond with your baby to establish a connection and your milk supply if you are nursing. Don’t believe someone who tells you it is OK to want to leave right after your baby is born, talk to your doctor instead to rule out postpartum depression.

Your life has changed, you are the Mom now! You need do the research and find out if you are doing the safest, best things for your baby based upon research. You should not believe someone who gives you advice based upon the way they parented their own children 5 to 50 years ago. When it comes to raising your infant do the research, read parenting books, articles and magazines and talk to your pediatrician.