Most toddlers go through a very independent stage where they don’t want to hold your hand, but can not understand the dangers of why they can not run off. My son has entered this age. He used to be such a nice, calm boy who would happily hang out with me, but now he is too busy and wants to see everything at his pace, and does not want to be carried or hold onto my hand.

We were at the zoo last week and I did not have a stroller because I did not want to drag around an empty stroller so my kids can get some exercise. My son did not want to hold my hand, in fact when I tried to hold his hand he would lean away from me and hang there like dead weight, while I am holding his entire body weight by his wrist so he does not fall to the ground. To avoid walking around the whole day with a child being held up by his arm, I let him walk free. He all of a sudden decided he wanted to go see what was around the corner at his top speed. It is amazing how fast those little legs can move when he wants to! I first tried to slow him down by loudly calling for him to stop, but that did not work. Then I was the mom running after my toddler in public, while trying to make sure my older child follows the pursuit and quickly having to convince her to stop looking at the three banded armadillo and come along. Thankfully he knew that this is not a chase game, he stopped running so I was able to catch him. I got down nose to nose and told him that he has to stay by mom and he cant run away because it is dangerous.

Do I think that will be the last time he runs away? Not a chance, I think that I will chase my son occasionally for at least six more months until he is mature enough to understand that he has to stay by mom. It will be the same lesson I had to teach my daughter at the same age. She has learned that she can walk at a safe distance ahead of me but has learned that she has to stay close and be able to maintain eye contact and hear my voice at all times. Unfortunately, my son has not grasped this important safety point yet. We are going to be in an airport in a couple of weeks and I don’t want to lug around a stroller, but I am going through the internal battle if I want to be the parent with my toddler on a leash or not.

To clarify, is not really a leash, it is a monkey stuffed animal. harness, backpack with a four foot tether for an adult to hold onto, in order to keep your child close in public. It slides over his arms and has two buckles to keep it on him, along with adjustable straps and are soft. When you hold onto the tether and they take off, it slows down the child from the chest and the whole torso, not the neck or arm or any other dangerous place, and the stuffed animal monkey makes it look much more friendly to others.

Why do I consider not using it? When people who I assume did not have children saw my daughter wearing a harness they laughed or make snide remarks about me treating her like an animal. I know it is not only me who has gotten rude remarks, in public I have hard other people loudly criticize other parents walking around in public with their children wearing a harness as well. I clearly remember one man walking up to a mom asking her if her child has to eat on the floor like a dog too, I was horrified for her.

I decided that for the safety of my son and for the convenience of not having to abandon my daughter in public to chase after my toddler, I will harness my son. He may not like being contained by the tether any more than he likes holding onto my hand, but I will not be afraid of pulling his arm out of the socket when he decides to jerk away from me. I decided that I am much more vocal with my second child, and sure in my decisions than I was with my first. This time when someone makes a rude remark about my son being on a leash, I will just smile and reply, “You must not have kids, or you would understand!”