My daughter turned five in the middle of June and she asks me daily how many days until she gets to go to Kindergarten, today the answer was 40. Only 40 days! No matter how excited she is to start school it saddens me to think this will be the last free time in her life where we get to go on vacation without worrying about school breaks, homework, parent meetings, or how many days she is gone from school.

This summer we have been out of town at cabins or trips every weekend except one since Memorial Day and the weekend we were home we had a wedding to attend. We are very fortunate to have so many places we can go to be on lakes and have a mini vacation each weekend. The downside to being out of town so much is I have to maintain the house, the garden, the pool, the lawn, unpack, do laundry, re-pack, grocery shop, fill up the truck with gas, and get all of the errands and important things finished during the week. I still want my kids to have fun on weekdays, so we fit in a daily trip to parks, zoo’s, museums, water parks, beaches and play dates when we are at home.

I am savoring every one of these weekends and weekday experiences hoping that my daughter is creating memories and learning experiences that she will take with her into her school days. I know I will still have each summer to share with her when she is in school, but my days as a stay at home mom are numbered with only one kid at home, so these fun summer days are so precious to me.

There may only be 40 days left of summer before my daughter is in kindergarten but that is 39 more days of fun with my little girl before she is a big kid in kindergarten. Enjoy your summers with your toddlers, they grow up unbelievably fast!

I am very fortunate to be able to have my full time job be taking care of my children at this point. But it has not always been that way, I have had both of my children in daycare situations. My son was in a home daycare for the first 9 months of his life. I know how hard it is to find a good daycare with a safe home and a daycare provider you like and trust. It took me months and dozens of interviews to find the right people to watch my children, but even with the research I did, there were still things I did not like about my kids day cares. There were many days that I would pick up my son and he would be sitting in a baby swing, I wondered how long he had been in there? When he was not strapped in the baby swing, he was in an exersaucer, the play yard, the crib or high chair. I felt like he was strapped in to something the entire day.

Now that I am a professional mom, I go on outings with my kids multiple times each week. We go everyplace I can think of to teach them fun things and get them exercise. While I am out I frequently encounter day cares out on their field trips and I am occassionally really saddened and frustrated by the way that some of the kids seem to be strapped in the whole time.

I brought my kids to an indoor playground a few months back, the daycare lady had 5 kids with her, 3 kids that were old enough to climb on their own in the play structure, and the little 2 kids were strapped into the double stroller the entire two hours of her outing. One of the kids spirit was broken and she just sat there bored in the stroller with no toys to play with, and the boy who was the same age as my son, wanted to get out so bad he would go through spurts of trying as hard as he could to get free and then would just sit there and cry. The two kids could have played in the toddler area or with balls in the gym area, but it was easier for the daycare lady to keep them strapped in place and wait for 2 hours.

Last summer I watched a daycare woman who always seemed to bring her daycare kids to the outdoor splash pool the same days I went there. She would have about 5 or 6 kids, she would leave the two little ones strapped into the double stroller while she texted on her phone and the other 3 or 4 kids would be supervised by the lifeguards so she could have a break. The little kids would have loved to be in a swim suit and splashing around like the rest of the little kids in the pool but they were stuck there. I see this all the time at the zoo but at least there they are usually moving around and can at least see a change of scenery, not just parked in one place for hours.

Today I saw something that made me so angry. A woman had 6 kids in her home daycare and she always seemed to be in the same room I was in at the Childrens Museum in St. Paul. There was one boy who was the youngest in the group who she kept buckled into the double stroller the entire time she was there. It was so sad because this is a place where you are supposed to touch and explore things to learn and she had a 3 year old stuck in the stroller so he could just watch the other kids have fun. He kept asking can I please get out in this room? Then he would push and pull and lift up his butt as high as he could but he was strapped in so tight he was not going anywhere.

I know there are many day cares who don’t strap the kids in and they figure out how to manage all of the kids and let them all have fun while they are on an outing. Unfortunately, there are the bad daycare providers who believe in strapping the little kids in to make them easier to control and monitor in public. It makes me wonder if they think that is OK to keep the kids stuck in one place in public, what do they do when nobody is watching?

Why do I write this? If you have a kid in daycare please ask what the daycare provider does with the little kids when they brings the kids outside, to the park, or on a field trip. Ask specifically how long they think it is OK to keep a kid strapped in during the day. If they are one of the daycare providers that strap kids in most of the day, you might want to reconsider your choice of day cares.

Today my husband handed me an envelope from the U.S. Census Bureau with a big United States Census 2010 logo on the front. I said outloud, “Oooh the Census form!” I opened it up with a pen in hand, ready to fill it out, but instead of the census form, it was the following letter:

Dear Resident:
One week from now, you will receive a 2010 Census form in the mail.
When you receive your form, please fill it out and mail it in promptly.

Your response is important. Results from the 2010 Census will be used to help each community get their fair share of government funds for highways, schools, health facilities, and many other programs you and your neighbors need. Without a complete, accurate census, your community may not receive its fair share.

Thank you in advance for your help.

Sincerely,

Robert M. Groves
Director, U.S. Census Bureau

So why do I care? They sent out a letter, to let us know we would get a letter in one week. Why could they not have included this letter along with the census form and saved the millions of dollars in postage to mail this one page letter to each residence in the United States?

A letter to announce a letter. Thanks U.S. Census Bureau for showing us another great example of our tax dollars at work!

Every new mom receives tons of advice with the birth of your baby, be careful who you listen to. The parenting methods that may have been in style 35 years ago are not appropriate anymore. 35 years ago some pregnant moms smoke, drank, and ate whatever they wanted. Would any responsible pregnant woman risk damage to her fetus by smoking and drinking? No, because research has proven that it is not healthy! You should not use archaic methods of parenting either.

Research continually changes the recommendations and the best practices for the healthiest and best ways to care for your babies. Listening to someone who had a baby five years ago can already be outdated, imagine if you are taking advice from someone who has not had a baby in 30 years how outdated that advice is! There are some things that I had people recommend to me that are not only outdated but outright dangerous and maybe even be considered child endangerment or neglect by today’s standards.

There are things that people say in passing like put a little whiskey on their gums when they are teething or give them a little Benadryl to sleep on a plane. These things could be are horribly dangerous for a baby. I can’t imagine how many sleep deprived, uneducated parents just give it a try. Always ask your pediatrician before giving your newborn any medications, over the counter remedies and NEVER give your child alcohol!

Baby sleep position has changed completely from 30 years ago when parents were told to put babies to sleep on their stomachs, 15 years ago it was put your baby to sleep on their side and use a sleep positioner, now we are supposed to put our babies to sleep in a completely empty crib, with no bumpers, no pillows, no positioners while they are wearing a sleep sack. Research has proven sleeping on their back is now the safest method to prevent SIDS.

Car seat safety has dramatically changed, even 5 years ago it was OK to switch your car seat front facing at 1 year and 20 pounds, now it is recommended to keep your seat rear facing until 40 pounds or as long as your car seat will allow it. When I see people using outdated car seats or standard infant seats for a 2 year old with their legs dangling over the edge it makes me want to scream! Don’t use a lap bar or shield booster, they are all recalled or expired and could decapitate your child in an accident. Don’t accept a car seat as a hand me down! Don’t use a car seat that has been in a car accident or was manufactured more than 5 years ago. Car seats are made so much better today than they were 5 years ago, they are easier to use, they are safer. Your child is worth it.

It really gets me is when I hear people say, you don’t want to spoil your baby! Don’t hold it too much! Lay down your baby! It has been proven that you can not spoil a newborn, that instead it promotes a healthy self esteem for children to be held. In countries where babies are never put down but are carried constantly, those babies never cry and acid reflux does not exist.

Why are there are so many products that are aimed at newborns and under 20 pounds like bassinets, co-sleepers, cradles? It is because developmentally newborns don’t sleep for 8 hours at a time. These products help encourage nursing success because nursing babies digest breast milk faster than formula, and need to be fed every 2-3 hours when they are newborns. Even if you are not breastfeeding, your baby needs you more than you need your sleep at least until they are about 4 months old. Babies poop constantly even at night. You can’t leave a newborn baby laying in their waste all night long. Could you sleep while your feces burns a horrible diaper rash on your sensitive skin? You should not be trying to let a newborn Cry It Out. Leaving your baby to scream and cry for 1 hour until they fall asleep in exhaustion could be considered child neglect, so be careful. Do some research or ask your pediatrician before believing someone who tells you that it is OK to ignore a newborn and let them Cry it Out.

After nine months of pregnancy if it leaves you wanting to escape as soon as the baby is born is not healthy. Mothers who do not want to be around their babies may have postpartum depression. You are not supposed to be able to leave your newborn, it is maternal instinct and that instinct was developed through thousands of years to protect children from being abandoned by their parents to die. Don’t believe someone who tells you to go out and have fun and leave your kid right after your baby is born. You need that time to bond with your baby to establish a connection and your milk supply if you are nursing. Don’t believe someone who tells you it is OK to want to leave right after your baby is born, talk to your doctor instead to rule out postpartum depression.

Your life has changed, you are the Mom now! You need do the research and find out if you are doing the safest, best things for your baby based upon research. You should not believe someone who gives you advice based upon the way they parented their own children 5 to 50 years ago. When it comes to raising your infant do the research, read parenting books, articles and magazines and talk to your pediatrician.

No matter how much I wish I was the energizer bunny of moms that never needs a break, I know it simply is not true. There are days where I need to take an extra few minutes in the bathroom to get some space and regroup. I treasure nap times when I get them, and also love the hour or two that I spend up after the kids go to bed. As a stay at home mom I don’t get the adult interaction every day, don’t get the 8 hours each day away from my kids so that I am excited to see them when I pick them up in the evening. No matter how much I enjoy being a stay at home mom, every once in a while I need a break away from my home and children. I think as mothers we need realize that we may be better moms when we take some time to ourselves to remember what we enjoy to do besides just spend time with our children. It not only can teach our children the importance of friendships and having your own interests, it also gives you something to talk about with your spouse, and gives you the opportunity to look forward to seeing your children after a short separation.

I have a supportive husband and a wonderful family who happily offer to take my kids so I can get a break when I need it. The other weekend I did not just recharge and relax I also had fun with my friends. I woke up, fed my kids breakfast, drank my morning coffee, kissed the kids goodbye, packed up the car and took off a few miles down the road for a solid twenty four hours of uninterrupted time. We had a scrap booking day and overnight planned at a local hotel with my friends and fellow scrap bookers. I am not a super scrap booker, but I think it is fun to work with my hands and create projects with like minded creative women. I enjoy devoting endless hours creating something without my kids “helping” wanting to do it too, or wanting to steal my scissors and hide it somewhere around the house. I made some fun scrapbook pages and used the time to get my kids baby books up to date.

We laughed, listened to music, snacked on appetizers and deserts, drank some cocktails and enjoyed each others company. After we all had a full 12 hours of scrap booking we packed it up, and spent some time laughing and telling stories and stayed up much too late. We slept in surprisingly comfortable beds in the hotel rooms and woke up, ate continental breakfast then went swimming in the hotel pool and the hot tub. I was home by 10 AM and I was so excited to see my kids after being away for twenty four hours! I was able to appreciate the time away from my children, away from my husband, spent with my friends, doing something creative. I call that a successful recharge of the mom batteries.